The Pot Roast Tragedies

This week’s blog post is brought to you in part by New China on Nashville Highway.

Hi friends!

Thanks so much for continuing to follow my sad stories. I hope they’ve made you laugh!

So, here’s something you might not know about me- I’m such a sucker for happy endings. Fairy Tales, Hallmark movies, that moment at the end of the RomCom when the music swells and everything comes together…it makes my heart happy and my eyes misty. So I feel inclined to give you a fair warning right now-

This story does not have a happy ending.

It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon, and I’m preparing to settle in for a Sunday nap. Per my usual ritual, I had planned a crock pot meal for today so that I can be as lazy as I please and have dinner ready for me when I wake up. This particular Sunday, I’m fresh off of 5 hours of serving at the church following a sleepover with some dear friends (yes, I have occasional sleepovers with my grown up, married/mom friends, and it is SO good for the soul….not as good for the sleeping habits), so I’m running on about 3 hours of sleep and about 6 cups of coffee.

I pull the roast out of the fridge and season it. I had picked up this particular cut of meat last week to prepare for Sunday dinner, but we ended up going on an impromptu date night in Nashville! My husband and I are such suburb-dwelling home bodies that it’s rare for us to get into the big city, so I was more than happy to wrap up my roast tightly in plastic wrap and freeze it for next week. Because meat works that way. Right?

Wrong.

Back to today. Fortunately I’d had the presence of mind to pull the roast out on Thursday, so it was completely defrosted (I really don’t think I’d feel good about microwaving a roast like I do with chicken in a pinch). Now usually, when I make a roast, I do some good prep work. I sear the meat in my cast iron along with the onions and then deglaze the pan with wine and add all of the smoky goodness into the crock pot before adding the beef broth, but remember how I only got 3 hours of sleep? Yeah, I’m not doing all that today. I chop the carrots, onion, and potatoes, season the meat with salt and pepper, and dump it all into the pot with beef broth, water, and a little fresh rosemary and thyme. I put the lid on, set dial on low, and hit the hay. Easy peasy. That’s the beautiful thing about pot roast, right?

Wrong. Enter the Pinehurst Curse.

I really, really don’t know how to explain this, but after 5ish hours on low, the potatoes are crunchy, the veggies are firm, and the beef is….leather. Rawhide. Cooked through completely, but 100% tough and even more tasteless. I cut off a chunk and try to shred it with a fork, and the fork bends.

We order Chinese food. The end!

Observations for next time:

Don’t have a curse?

——–Katie

Editor’s Note:

(Still me. I’m the editor.)

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, you, reading this post and coming up with reasons and preparing to give me advice; “Well, you probably used a bad cut of meat. Maybe it wasn’t really thawed all the way through. Maybe you should’ve put it on high.” And it’s okay, I don’t blame you for troubleshooting as you read! However, I’m editing this post because just yesterday I made a roast again. But this time, it was not frozen, I seared the meat, and cooked it on high. Last time must’ve been a fluke, this time dinner will be delicious!

Wrong. We ordered Chinese food. Again.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

One thought on “The Pot Roast Tragedies

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